sometimes when I’m angry or stressed or sad I think about whales just swimming around in the ocean, doing whale shit. like, they’re the biggest goddamn mammals on the planet. they don’t have time for little problems. there’s too much chill-ass whale shit to do.
basically what I am saying is that whales are my happy place.
That was so comforting
Russell Brand & the Westboro Baptist Church
wouldn’t it be funny if Russell was actually Jesus in disguise tho i mean look at him plus he seems to know his shit i mean i’m just sayin
well done, mr. brand.
Russell Brand is CRAZY intelligent. He once called his interviewers out on not doing their jobs when they wouldn’t take him seriously. It was awesome.
man razors always seem to be better built than lady shavers
why am i expected to remove all hair from nose to toe with a rusty knife glued onto a cheap pink plastic stick on an almost daily basis
if it is insisted that i be as hairless as a sphynx with alopecia swimming in a vat of radioactive nair i should at least be given razors that can sustain a single session of chopping down the dense and beautiful forestry that covers my upside-down canada for fuck’s sake